Unepic(gamingbeasts.com)

The match started. It was a 5v5 tactical shooter. Fenris moved with lethal precision, flanking enemies and racking up headshots. The commentary on the live stream was electric: "Fenris is playing like a literal beast! GamingBeasts.com has never seen anything like this!" But then, the happened.

"Hey Artie, check out the cheese-to-chip ratio on th—" Dave tripped over a stray charging cable.

Arthur watched in horror as the enemy team approached his stuttering character. They didn't even use high-powered weapons; they took turns hitting him with frying pans, the ultimate humiliation in the game's mechanics. He lost the match. He lost the prize. He lost his dignity. UnEpic(GamingBeasts.com)

On the screen, Fenris_the_Slayer stopped mid-charge. He didn't take cover. He didn't fire. He simply began to walk slowly, helplessly, into a brick wall. The chat log exploded: WTF Fenris? Is he lagging? GamingBeasts? More like GamingBambi. UNEPIC FAIL.

He didn't get the five thousand dollars, but he did get a sponsorship offer the next day from a cleaning supply company. Their pitch? "For when your gaming gets UnEpic." Arthur took the deal. At least now he had clean socks. The match started

"Tonight," Arthur whispered to his cat, "we become legends."

It wasn't a tactical error. It wasn't a better player. It was Arthur’s roommate, Dave, who walked into the room holding a steaming plate of "Extreme Spicy" nachos. The commentary on the live stream was electric:

In slow motion, the nachos took flight. A glob of molten, synthetic orange cheese landed directly in the center of Arthur’s mechanical keyboard. The 'W' key—the key required to move forward—stuck instantly.