[s8e2] A La Cart -

"That’s just weight reduction, Chris! We’re getting faster!"

"Dad, I don't think the engine should be held on by used chewing gum," Chris had worried, staring at the rattling hunk of metal they’d salvaged from a discarded woodchipper.

The drama had started, as most things in the Griffin household did, with a sudden, unearned surge of confidence. Peter and Chris had decided to bond by building a go-kart for the local derby. However, their "engineering" process mostly involved Peter drinking beer while Chris tried to figure out if the wheels were supposed to be round or "more of a hexagon shape for grip." [S8E2] A La Cart

The sun beat down on the asphalt of the Quahog speedway, a shimmering haze rising from the track that smelled of burnt rubber and cheap hot dogs. For Peter Griffin, this wasn't just a race; it was a matter of paternal pride—and a desperate attempt to prove he hadn't wasted two weeks’ salary on a motorized frame that looked suspiciously like a lawnmower with an attitude.

"Nonsense, Chris! That’s Grade-A Hubba Bubba. It’s the carbon fiber of the candy world," Peter replied, wiping grease onto his white shirt. "That’s just weight reduction, Chris

They didn't get a trophy—mostly because they had technically caused three separate pile-ups and the judges weren't sure if their vehicle qualified as a "car"—but as they walked home carrying the engine in a wagon, Peter knew he’d taught his son an important lesson: if you're going to fail, do it at high speeds with a lot of noise.

"The only thing I’m eating today is victory, Joe! And maybe a churro if the guy comes back around," Peter shot back. Peter and Chris had decided to bond by

The green flag dropped, and the karts tore away. Peter and Chris were immediately overtaken by a toddler in a Barbie Jeep, but Peter wasn't deterred. He leaned forward, screaming at the engine to "dig deep." As they rounded the first turn, the Griffin Ground-Pounder began to vibrate so violently that Chris’s hat flew off, followed shortly by one of the side mirrors. "We’re losing parts, Dad!"