She swept into the living room, smelling of Chanel No. 5 and cold ambition. She didn't even look at her sons. She walked straight to the glass door, locked eyes with the giant bird, and tapped on the pane with a manicured nail.
“It’s a majestic creature of the sky, Charlie! And the spider is just a misunderstood arachnid,” Alan chirped, adjusting his beige windbreaker. “Besides, I’ve named the bird 'Freedom' and the spider 'Leggsy.'” Large Birds, Spiders and MomTwo and a Half Men ...
“I don’t care if you named them 'The Pointer Sisters,' get them off my deck! I have a date coming over in twenty minutes and ‘Death by Nature’ isn't the vibe I’m going for.” She swept into the living room, smelling of Chanel No
The condor immediately took flight in terror. The spider curled into a ball and rolled off the deck into the sand. She walked straight to the glass door, locked
The doorbell rang. It wasn’t the date. It was .
Perched on the railing was a the size of a small aircraft. Next to it, a massive Tarantula —likely a runaway from a neighbor’s exotic collection—was casually making its way toward Charlie’s discarded sandwich.
“Thanks, Mom,” Charlie muttered, pouring a double. “I guess there’s always a bigger predator in the room.”