Or Your Money Back - Dead In A Week:

What follows is a high-stakes, darkly comedic cat-and-mouse game. William, once desperate to die, is now sprinting for his life, while Leslie uses every trick in the book to provide the "service" William already paid for. It’s a story about the absurdity of life, the irony of timing, and the realization that sometimes you have to look death in the face to figure out how to live.

William has spent his entire life trying to be successful at just one thing: dying. Unfortunately, he’s as bad at suicide as he is at everything else. After seven botched attempts—including a bridge jump that resulted in a shallow splash and a toaster incident that only blew the fuses—William decides to outsource the job. Dead in a Week: Or Your Money Back

He seeks out a professional assassin through a brochure he finds in a dark corner of the internet. Enter Leslie, an aging hitman for "The Guild of Assassins." Leslie is facing his own crisis; he’s a few kills short of his annual quota and is being forced into early retirement by a ruthless boss. What follows is a high-stakes, darkly comedic cat-and-mouse

However, the moment the ink dries, William’s luck changes. He meets Maria, a quirky editor who finds beauty in his gloom. Suddenly, William has something to live for. He tries to cancel the contract, but Leslie is a professional. A contract is a contract, and Leslie needs this kill to save his career. William has spent his entire life trying to